Quotes Page 1

Deep Thoughts on... drinking!

From Ann O'Nymous:

Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time
and have the time of your life.

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder."

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol."

From Frank Sinatra:

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

From Dean Martin:

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

From W.C. Fields:

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
her.

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

From Brian O'Rourke:

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall we commit no sin. When we commit no
sin, we go to Heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...

From George Jean Nathan:

I drink to make other people interesting. -

From Ernest Hemingway:

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

From Catherine Zandonella:

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

From Ambrose Bierce:

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself
a pleasure.

From Ross Levy:

Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truely
gives me pleasure - hooking up with fat hairy girls.

From Oscar Wilde:

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

From Henny Youngman:

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

From Tom Waits:

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

From Stephen Wright:

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

From Benjamin Franklin:

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

From Jack Handy:

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes
beer shoot out your nose.

From Dave Barry:

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza.

From Humphrey Bogart:

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

From Homer Simpson (By far, the most intelligent he's ever said!):

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this
and I'll get back to killing you with beer.